Go for a Walk.
My entire worth used to be wrapped up in how good my last bit of playing went. I had to be the best thing people had heard that day. And even then, the only way that I could truly be at peace was if I was, in fact, first chair in every ensemble and the recipient of every possible musical award. If someone else was also doing good work, that was great! …but it had better not overshadow the awesome work that I was doing over here.
Although I have worked through needing to be numero uno as an adult, I still tend to prioritize my work over everything and everyone. I am, in a lot of ways, grateful for my persistence. I’m a hell of a lot better than I would be if I hadn’t spent so many days and hours practicing.
But I’ve missed out on a lot of fun along the way.
_____________________________________________
Take vacations, for example. My wife LOVES the beach and will suggest a little getaway when the weather calls for it. “That sounds wonderful” is how I expect most husbands would respond. Gabi is met with a barrage of questions and thoughts on the idea.
“Are we staying somewhere I can play my trumpet? Do I HAVE to play into a mute?”
“Well, it’ll have to be during a slow performing season or an off weekend.”
“I got called for a church gig on that Sunday… If I drive through the night, I think we can make it back in just time!”
“Of course we can go — you can enjoy the beach and I’ll enjoy the view of the resort next door as I do some long tones.”
Still want to go to the beach? Sometimes I don’t understand how Gabi deals with me, honestly.
_____________________________________________
Over the last couple of years, I’ve nurtured the Michael that isn’t holding a trumpet, on stage, or behind a piano. I’ve taken up running and reading. I’ve begun meditating and journaling (hey y’all!). I’ve gotten back into playing casual video games with my cousin. I make time for an extended walk with Gab after our dog’s evening trot. I schedule meals and coffees with friends during the week — it turns out I still like them and they still endure me to hang out with their real friend, Gabi.
Not only has my head become far less clouded and my shoulders less tense… but my playing has also improved! I feel refreshed when I come back to the horn. Almost as if there’s more to life than another repetition of “Pictures at an Exhibition.”
_____________________________________________
As long as you’ve planned appropriately, the practice can wait. Go for that walk in your neighborhood — Even if it’s hot as hell outside.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
